


Always Letting Go

by junko



Series: Chasing Demons [3]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Multi, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-13
Updated: 2012-10-13
Packaged: 2017-11-16 06:13:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/536383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junko/pseuds/junko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Renji ends up surrounded by Rukia's new friends and realizes he needs to let her go... again.  Meanwhile, Byakuya wakes up with Senbonzakura.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Always Letting Go

**Author's Note:**

> These installments are running to the longer side, and I think that's because I find I'm anxious to get Renji and Byakuya together so I'm not satisfied until they're tucked in together. 
> 
> Rukia's reaction to ByaRen might seem a little inconsistent. That's because it is. I'm allowing that even if she accepts the idea of her brother and her BFF, the reality of it hits her in different ways at different times. Rukia calls Ichigo an "imochi," a potato chip, which is hipster slang for a hick or someone gauche enough not to be born and raised in Tokyo. She could have just called him an "imo," but she's using the cooler slang to rub it in a bit.
> 
> Also, the summary may make it appear as though there will be a Byakuya p.o.v. Alas, there isn't. Perhaps next time.

Renji was somewhat dismayed to discover that Rukia’s idea of ‘freshening up’ seemed to include inviting Ichigo along to lunch. He wondered, actually, if she’d done it on purpose. It was clear to him that she was uncomfortable with the sudden realization that Renji might actually know Byakuya in ways she didn’t.

But, they couldn’t really talk about it, because Renji suddenly found himself surrounded by a bunch of noisy human teenagers. Ichigo was apparently incapable of going anywhere without bringing along a gaggle of his friends.

Renji got introduced to a muscular kid with skin the color of Yoruichi’s, who was taller than he was by at least three inches, named Chad or Sado or possibly both. He didn’t have much to say beyond “hi.”

There was a very giggly, super-cute girl with hair the same impossible color of Ichigo’s though hers looked much softer and smelled a hundred times better. Renji managed to catch a whiff of it because she impulsively hugged him and told him how awesome she thought Zabimaru was, even though she seemed to think he was a tiger. She even tried to pet the zanpaktō’s hilt, but, when she suddenly noticed how awkward that was, she squeaked and danced around and clasped her hands and said how grateful she was that Renji had ended up being an ally instead of an enemy. Renji had blushed through the whole exchange while desperately trying to remember the girl’s name. Meanwhile, Rukia watched the whole thing, chuckling kindly as his discomfort.

The last of the lunch party-crashers was the annoying, prissy Quincy boy with the glasses that Renji was startled to find alive, which just made their reintroduction extra-awkward.

“This is Uryū Ishida,” Ichigo said.

“Yeah, we’ve met,” Renji noted. Neither offered a hand or a bow, and, in fact, Renji stuffed his fists into the pockets of his hakama.

“He tried to murder me,” Ishida explained to Ichigo’s curious look at their frosty interaction. “We even exchanged names, because Abarai here told me I needed to know the name of the guy who was going to be the death of me.”

“Yeah, only somehow… I missed,” Renji said before he could stop himself.

Ichigo patted Renji’s shoulder as though in consolation, “It happens to the best of us, big guy. Next time, hit harder. You’ll be doing us all a favor.”

“Excuse me?” Ishida sniffed, and then the two boys fell into bickering like an old married couple, which Renji found weirdly… cute. If Ichigo wasn’t so clearly into Rukia, Renji would totally put money down that those two guys were dating--or at least fucking. A lot.

With Rukia chattering up a storm the girl with the sad princess name and Ichigo and Ishida hard at it, Renji felt like the odd man out. He also felt really old. Half the time he didn’t even understand what everyone was talking about. They referenced so many human things—TV?--jumbled up with strange slang that left Renji completely out of the loop.

Rukia, meanwhile, seemed right at home.

Renji knew he should have felt a stab of jealousy, but he didn’t. Instead, an old sensation washed over him. Even though he knew he’d never be a part of her new life, he was extremely happy that Rukia had found a place… friends… and that she was happy.

Seeing her joyful smile made having to let her go all over again almost worth it.

The Sado/Chad guy seemed a bit removed from the others, too, so Renji fell into line beside him as they headed down the streets to where the food cart vendors congregated. The day had turned hot and hazy. Plaster dust seemed to stick to Renji’s skin as they walked.

“Damn,” he said to Chad. “It’s going to take forever to rebuild.”

Chad nodded.

Renji glanced at one area they passed, “Huh. I think I broke that.”

“No, I did,” Chad said, flexing his arm.

Renji waited for Chad to say more, like, maybe explain what kind of superpowers a human needed to do damage like that, but Chad just gave a soft mysterious smile for an answer. Renji nodded in return to let Chad know it was cool with Renji if the kid didn’t want to say more about it. Renji was kind of used to silences, after all. So he carried the conversion by saying whatever came to mind. He told Chad all about his morning—from discovering Kira had been taken in for ‘debriefing’ by the Second to his vaguely mortifying conversation with the head captain.

“I think I pretty much told him to pillory me. I hope that’s not really what’s going to happen,” Renji said.

Chad agreed with a horrified nod.

Upon consideration, Chad was chattier than Byakuya in his own way. He might use fewer words than the captain, but Renji could tell that Chad was at least pretending to be engaged in the conversation because he grunted occasionally in response to Renji’s observations.

And he made eye contact.

That last bit was a huge improvement over Byakuya. In fact, despite the fact that Chad had hardly said a word, Renji was feeling pretty close to him by the time they reached the street venders.

While the rest of the group stopped at the edge of the corner and began to dither over the multitude choices, Renji made his way to the senbei cart and got in line. As he waited his turn to order, Renji craned his neck to watch the cook layout a new row hand-sized rounds to roast over a charcoal grill. Each new cracker pushed the others further along the narrow grill, until they were ready at the far end for dipping. Renji’s stomach growled in anticipation of the hot, savory crispy rice cracker. Finally, he paid his hundred yen and was handed a soy-dipped nori-wrapped treat. When he turned to find out where the others had ended up, he discovered many of them had followed his lead and were all waiting their own. “Good choice,” he told Ichigo, who was right behind him. “You won’t regret it.”

Rukia was one of the few hadn’t mindlessly followed him, and Renji spotted her sitting at a nearby curb with a fresh yaki imo in her hands. Her roasted sweet potato looked good, too, and Renji thought maybe he’d have to get one later. He plopped down next to her as they waited for the others to get their food and join them. Her eyes seemed to stay focused on her friends, especially Ichigo, who was already making his way over with a grin and a wave.

“Aren’t you a little freaked out by how much he looks like Shiba?” Renji asked, deciding his stomach couldn’t wait on manners and took a bite of the seibei while it was still hot.

Rukia turned to glare at Renji, “Am I offering my opinions about your choices? No, so I’ll thank you to keep out of my business.”

Oh. So she was upset about him and Byakuya. That had changed from last night, when she almost seemed encouraging. Renji gave her a long, measuring look. He kind of did want to know her opinions. Her best friend was sleeping with her brother; was that really ever going to be okay? He shrugged. Maybe it was best to leave it alone for now. Perhaps, given time, she’d change her mind again. “Did I tell you what happened to Kira?”

Her anger evaporated instantly into concern. “No, what?”

“He’s enjoying the hospitality of the Second’s interrogation squad.”

“Oh, no! Poor Kira,” Rukia said, starting to stand. “We’ve got to do something.”

Renji grabbed her sleeve before she could get all the way up, and gently guided her back to the curb. He let out a dark chuckle and looked over at a construction crew that was building scaffolding to fix a large Getsuga Tenshō-size hole in a roof. “I think we need to let the wheels of justice turn on their own this time. I talked to the Captain-Commander about it directly, and, while I still don’t like it, I’ve become convinced they’re just trying to make sure of Kira’s innocence. You and I both know Izuru. He’s no killer—not like that. It’s going to turn out to be all on that weasel Ichimaru.”

“You don’t think they’re just looking for a scapegoat, do you?”

“I sure hope the fuck not or we will have to—“ a shadow blocked the sun.

Renji looked up to see Ichigo standing over them, chewing a big mouthful of senbei. Green seaweed crumbs dribbled down his pointy chin. “Hey, these are really good, by the way. How come you’re eating a boring potato, Rukia? You could get that anywhere. This is like ancient food. They made these in the Edo Period, did you know?”

“You moron,” Rukia said lovingly, “You can get seibei in the human world, too.”

“Really? You can?” And, Ichigo, being who he was, moved a little closer to the space between Renji and Rukia until Rukia shifted over and made space for Ichigo. “That vendor made it sound like these were a samurai staple.”

“Did he charge you double after he spun you that tale?”

“Uh…” Ichigo started blustering as he wedged his butt down on the curb between them.

Renji gave Ichigo a sidelong glare when their knees bumped, _You really feel the need to put yourself between us? Seriously?_ Renji sighed and shook his head and went back to his food. The bubbly-huggy princess plopped down on his other side. She’d found fried noodles somewhere that smelled spicy. She glanced around Renji to where Rukia was still teasing Ichigo for being such a “potato chip.” The princess was clearly disappointed in the seating arrangements, but covered it with a soft smile and exclamations to Renji about how incredible the food was. Renji suddenly felt kind of sorry for her. She’d come to all the way the Soul Society and risked her own life and limb because she cared deeply about Ichigo, and, yet the whole time, he was utterly focused on Rukia.

Ichigo didn’t even seem to notice anyone else right now.

Neither did Rukia.

“You want to sit here?” Renji said, standing up to offer his spot. He’d gulped down his lunch, anyway, and was trying to decide if he wanted something more before heading to the estate. He tried to catch Rukia’s eye when he said, “I’ve got to get back. It’s supposed to be my shift at the bedside.”

“Oh, give Byakuya our love, will you?” the sad princess said cheerfully, scooting over to sit closer to Ichigo.

“Yeah,” Ichigo agreed, finally pulling himself from Rukia’s attention to add, “Byakuya turned out to be a good guy.”

Renji frowned. There was so much he wanted to say, including ‘of course he is, you git,’ followed closely by ‘that’s Captain Kuchiki to you.’ Instead, Renji just shrugged, “I still don’t understand what happened to change his mind.”

“I kicked his ass,” Ichigo said, as though that explained everything.

“Yeah… but I still can’t picture _that_ happening, either,” Renji admitted. “Anyway, I should really go. It was nice meeting everyone. I’ll see you around.”

They all waved good-bye. He walked away, but he glanced over his shoulder and caught Rukia watching him leave. He tried to offer her a little smile, but the second their eyes met, she looked away.

#

The kitchens were in a flurry when Renji came through. The head cook, Miko, gave Renji a huge smile when she saw him. “The lord is awake! He’s asked for breakfast.”

“That’s great,” Renji agreed, though his stomach tightened a little at the thought. It’d been easy to just pretend everything was going to be okay between them when Byakuya was passed out and feverish. “Maybe I should go get Rukia.”

Miko shook her head, “Eishirō already sent the tea boy to fetch her.”

Renji shifted his feet and scratched behind his ear. “I should leave them to their family reunion. I’ll… uh, tell Rukia I’ll be back later this evening.”

“Sure,” Miko said, still clearly so happy about Byakuya that Renji could have told her he planned to set the estate on fire and she would have just chirped pleasantly in response.

So while everyone else celebrated, Renji slipped out the door.

#

Since misery loves company, Renji found himself outside the Ninth Division. Unlike the Third, the Ninth seemed to be desperately trying to put on appearances of normalcy. There were drills in the practice yard, and, when Renji caught up with Hisagi, the lieutenant was organizing details of volunteers to help with repairs throughout the city.

It took about three seconds for Renji to realize what was happening. Shūhei was avoiding dealing with his captain’s betrayal by keeping busy. “Hey,” Renji said, when Hisagi stopped long enough to notice him. He tapped the clipboard Hisagi was carrying, “Find something on there for me to do for you, would you? Your Third need training up in being an adjutant or something? I’ve got mad paperwork skills.”

“Don’t you have your own division to organize, Abarai?”

“Not right now,” Renji admitted. “Honestly, I’m kind of avoiding my captain at the moment. You know how much of a stickler for the rules Byakuya is—and well, the First put me on medical leave until my status with him gets worked out. I’m supposed to mostly stay away from the Sixth, but no one said I couldn’t help out here.”

Hisagi managed to somehow look both annoyed and a tiny bit relieved. “Fine,” he sighed. “I am a little behind on the paperwork. See what you can do.”

#

Hisagi introduced Renji to the Ninth’s Third, a willowy girl with a jet black braid that fell almost to her calves, who seemed to be taking Tōsen’s betrayal a lot harder—or, perhaps she was just more willing to show it. Or, at least, she was once Hisagi ran off to do whatever. In fact, Renji ended up in the darkened office awkwardly patting her shoulder as she cried into his chest. It was hard for him to figure out words of comfort, so he muttered something to the effect of, “Well, at least you still have your lieutenant. Think about those poor bastards at the Fifth.”

Which, of course, just made her cry harder.

But, eventually, he helped her dry her eyes and focus on some of the subtle differences between being a Third and a vice-captain. Turned out, Hisagi almost never let anyone take over his duties, so a lot of it was completely new to her. Renji managed to spend several hours catching her up to speed. By the end, she was really grateful, “The lieutenant’s been stretching himself so thin,” she said. “It’ll be good to be able to really help like this…. If he’ll let me.”

“I hope he does,” Renji agreed. He didn’t want to freak the Third out anymore than she already was, but he thought she ought to know, “Especially since I suspect the Second division might be making a ‘social call’ any time now.” Then, he explained about Kira as her face grew paler and paler.

“But… Hisagi would never--”

“And neither would Kira,” Renji pointed out sharply. “But the thing is, it’s kind of hard to believe a lieutenant as competent as Hisagi didn’t know anything about what was going on with his captain. They were close. Everybody could see that. Honestly? If it were my captain that defected, I’d present myself to the Second right away and turn over everything of my captain’s private correspondence I knew about and offer my full cooperation.”

“Huh,” Hisagi’s deep voice came from the doorway, surprising them both. “You’re right. I was so focused on keeping the division from collapsing, it never occurred to me that that’s my duty.” 

“You want to go now?” Renji asked. "Do you need someone to go with you?" 

“No,” Hisagi said, straightening. “I should get a few more things in order if I’m going to have an extended leave. Then, I’ll make a public announcement to the division.”

“Hey, that’s excellent. I think the more everybody is above board right now, the better,” Renji agreed. “Look, if it’s all right with you, I’ll stop by here once and a while and check to make sure everything’s ready for you when you come back.”

“I’d appreciate that, Renji.”

“No sweat, Shūhei. It’s the least I can do for a friend.”

“You’re a surprisingly loyal friend,” Hisagi said, running his fingers through his spiky hair.

Renji cocked his head, but gave Hisagi a fond smile. “I’m only a little disappointed you’re surprised.”

#

After spending so much time in someone else’s division, Renji decided he ought to grab dinner at the Sixth’s mess. He made sure to stop by all the tables and pass on the good news of Byakuya’s returning health. Even though he wasn’t supposed to, Renji poked his head in the office once he’d finished eating.

The Third stood at attention instantly.

“At ease,” Renji said, waving him back to his seat. “You know I haven’t been reinstated yet.”

The Third sighed. “That’s some paperwork I’m looking forward to filing.”

“Well, fingers crossed a decision will be coming soon. I guess Byakuya was up long enough to want to eat today.” Renji settled onto the open window ledge while the Third got up to brew a pot of tea despite the heat. While the Third fussed, Renji caught him up on all the day's events.

“I can’t believe you bullied your way into the First Division,” the Third said. His butt rested against the edge of the desk. Then, after thinking about a moment longer, he raised a thin eyebrow and added, “No, actually I can.”

Renji nodded absently, glancing longingly out the window at the practice yard below. It hadn’t really been more than a few days, but he was anxious to get back into things. He was already feeling rusty. When he turned back, the Third had set down his bowl and was frowning deeply. “What?” Renji asked.

“There’s something different about you.”

“Bankai,” Renji explained.

The Third seemed to freeze at the news. “What? But… you’ve only been lieutenant for two months! How can you already be ready for the captain’s exam?”

Renji sensed the jealousy behind the Third’s reaction. He’d been Third before Renji arrived and now probably figured he be stuck here long after Renji left. “I might _have_ bankai, but I’m not ready to _demonstrate_ it yet,” Renji said with a pat on Zabimaru’s hilt. “It’s the nue’s curse. I only level up in crisis; when it’s do or die. I had to be cornered by Kenpachi before Zabimaru would show me shikai; I nearly died for bankai.”

The Third picked up his bowl and stared into its depths. "I’m sure that’s part of it, sir, but you’re always pushing, too. It’s not like your reputation as being ambitious didn’t precede you. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.”

“How come you don’t? Push, I mean. Do you like being a paperwork wonk or something?” Renji asked.

The Third briefly looked angry, like he might take offense, but then he sighed. “I do, if you must know. Besides, while I enjoy command, I find I’m not a great people person. In fact, I’ve discovered I really quite prefer leaving the personnel problems to you. Speaking of which…“

#

Renji spent the next few hours untangling some interpersonal conflicts in the division. It was nearly dark by the time he made it back to the estate. “There you are, you coward. You don’t have to worry, he’s asleep again,” Rukia said when Renji had carefully poked his head around the doorframe to nervously check to see if Byakuya was awake.

“Oh,” Renji said, stepping all the way into the room, then. “So, uh… did he say anything about me?”

“Of course! Nii-sama figured out right away that you had to be the one to tuck Senbonzkura into his bed.”

“Was he mad?”

“Not as much as I would have thought,” Rukia said losing a bit of her steam as she started gathering up her things. At some point she changed out of her uniform into sleep wear. It was another kimono with a rabbit motif, only these were much more stylized and the silk matched her eyes. She sighed, as if reluctant to admit it, “Seems you were right. Not only did he stop singing and mumbling, but Senbonzakura is all in one piece now. Byakuya still insisted that Eishirō bring in a proper holder for Senbonzakura.”

Renji noticed that the zanpaktō was on a sword rack that held it horizontally on the wall over Byakuya’s head. “Yeah, that makes sense. More comfortable for both of them, I suppose.”

“Also,” Rukia said, looking somewhat sheepish. “Nii-sama tried to hide the act of slipping it under the covers, but I noticed he kept your kisode in bed with him.”

She was standing next to Renji now, a load of books from her own collection in her arms. He squinted down at her and rubbed the back of his neck, “So… is that awkward?”

“Totally,” she admitted, but she smiled up at him. “But, weirdly, I was kind of pleased to see it. Otherwise, I wondered if maybe you… well, that it was all on your side. Of course, now this means I have to deal with the fact that my brother actually seems to like you back.” She shook her head in disbelief.

“It’s weird for me sometimes, too.”

She laughed. “I’ll bet.”

#

Eishirō came in and laid out a mattress and linens on the floor beside the bed. When Renji stirred and opened one eye, Eishirō explained quietly, “For appearances.”

“I’m sure the lieutenant would rather not appear to be a dog lying at his master’s feet,” Byakuya said clearly.

“It’s fine,” Renji told them both. “It’s not like I’m planning to sleep there.”

“You _are_ ,” Byakuya said sternly, “if you insist on hogging the covers.”

“I’ll bring my lord an extra blanket,” Eishirō offered, and with a bow headed out to fetch one.

Meanwhile, Renji untangled himself from the sheets to drape them more evenly over them both. As he tucked the covers around Byakuya’s shoulders, Renji held his breath, waiting to see if Byakuya would say anything more. Byakuya certainly sounded more like himself. Renji felt a touch of disappointment. The truth was, sick Byakuya had been a lot less… formidable.

Renji finished his ministrations, but paused long enough to admire his captain’s face. In the dark, with only the ambient light from outside, Byakuya’s skin was as pale as the moon. His sharp, regal features were softened by the long, almost feminine lashes and the elegant sweep of dark eyebrows. Someone had taken care to wash and comb Byakuya’s hair, because Renji could smell the lingering scent of rosewater and jasmine.

Even though Renji didn’t want to wake him, Byakuya looked so beautiful that Renji couldn’t help but lean down to kiss Byakuya lightly on the nose.

Byakuya’s eyes snapped open and caught Renji in their intense, clear gaze, “How long until your birthday, Renji?”

“Uh,” the question startled Renji, so he had to take a moment to think, “About two weeks, I think.”

Byakuya smiled softly. He reached a hand up to curl around Renji’s neck, Byakuya’s long fingers resting lightly against tattoo and racing pulse. “I should be ready.”

Renji couldn’t help but return a feral grin and a challenging: “Oh, you think so, huh?”

“Hmmm, maybe not,” Byakuya said, letting his hand slipped from Renji, as though holding it up so long had exhausted him. “Perhaps you’re not planning to be gentle.”

Renji kissed him again, this time on the mouth. Afterwards, he said, “You’ll just have wait and see, won’t you?”


End file.
